Rearranging Furniture
by lateBloomer04
Summary: Will returns to Elizabeth after ten years. This is the story of their first coupling after being abstinent for ten years. But eavesdroppers Pintel, Ragetti, and Jack Sparrow complicate things. What are Will and Liz to do?  Willabeth.  Shout out to HtR!


Disclaimer: Will, Elizabeth, Jack, Pintel, and Ragetti belong to Ted and Terry and the mouse. Lord Alexander Beckett is my OC, he's Cutler's younger (and much taller but no less mean) brother who took over the EITC after Cutler was killed. He's not in this story, though.

Summary: Will returns to Elizabeth after ten years. This is the story of their first coupling after being abstinent for ten years. But eavesdroppers Pintel, Ragetti, and Jack Sparrow complicate things. What are Will and Liz to do?

A/N: When you read this, I know you'll be thinking to yourself, Latebloomer's gone way beyond tasteful – what gives? I encourage you to stick it out, for it is supposed to be humorous.

This oneshot can be read by itself, or as a part of my story, _Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder,_ in between chapters nineteen and twenty.

Rearranging Furniture

"Are you sure you're feeling completely healed?" Will asked his wife as they made their way down to their cabin on the _Black Pearl_.

Two days before Will's return to the world of the living, Elizabeth had been shot in the side. One of Lord Alexander Beckett's soldiers had wounded her while she was escaping from Beckett's ship with the help of Jack and AnaMaria. By allying herself with Beckett, Calypso had tried her hardest to keep Elizabeth from reaching Will on time, as the lusty goddess wanted Will all to herself. But thankfully, true love had prevailed. For with the help of young William, Elizabeth had been able to meet Will at their rendezvous point and free her husband from the curse of the _Flying Dutchman_ once and for all. They had shared three amazing days together while she recovered, and now Elizabeth was ready to be intimate with her soul mate.

"Of course I'm sure," Elizabeth said confidently. "I think we've waited quite long enough Will."

"I have to agree with you there," Will chuckled. "Ten years and four days must be some sort of record." He gazed fondly at his beautiful wife. "I'm so ready to make you mine again." Elizabeth grinned at him.

"And this time we actually get to use a bed."

"It's quite an improvement from last time," said Will. "Not that our one day on the beach wasn't amazing, because it was." He smiled at her as he opened the door to their cabin, but his shaking hands betrayed his nervousness. "I hope I haven't forgotten how all of this works," Will muttered. She giggled softly.

"Don't worry. I'll help you remember." Their lips met in a furious kiss, and Will steered them over to the king-size feather bed. Gently, he nudged Elizabeth onto the bed and pulled himself atop her. Will was just starting to undo Elizabeth's shirt when she pushed his hands away.

"What's wrong?" He asked in alarm. Elizabeth shushed him.

"Do you hear something?" Elizabeth said quietly. Will reluctantly rolled off of her to listen properly. To his dismay, Will found that Elizabeth was right. There was someone - or someones- outside their door.

"Yes, I hear voices," he confirmed in a whisper. "And they sound a lot like Pintel and Ragetti. And wait…surely I didn't hear…" Will trailed off in disbelief. Yes, there is was again, a third voice.

"You did," moaned Elizabeth. "It's Jack alright." She sighed, rubbing her temples. "Ugh. They are insufferable! I'm going to give them a piece of my mind."

"No, wait!" Will grabbed her arm, effectively halting her from leaving the bed.

"Why?" She asked, confused.

"I think we should give them a show." Will grinned wolfishly at her. Elizabeth was shocked that her husband would suggest such a lewd idea. He must have drowned any traces of his shyness while onboard the _Dutchman,_ she supposed.

"Oh, Will, I don't think we should." Elizabeth was already shaking her head. "I don't want Jack to hear us actually, well, you know." In spite of herself, she blushed. "Then he'll just tell the whole ship and then we'd have to face the crew and it would be so bloody embarrassing-" Will cut her off, dropping his voice an octave for effect.

"Perhaps I could convince you." Elizabeth gulped; it had been ten years since she heard him use _that_ voice. Surely he knew how he was affecting her? Separation from Will had made her weak, she decided. Will's penetrating gaze had captured her very soul and Elizabeth shivered with anticipation. She knew she couldn't resist him, nor his seductive dark eyes. Yes, Will was going to have his way with her this night.

333

Pintel and Ragetti had successfully snuck away from the galley unnoticed, so they were free to follow Will and Elizabeth at their leisure.

"Great idea, Pintel," Ragetti gave a goofy giggle. "Sneaking away while Mr. Cotton spilled his rum.

"Aye, it was a great idea, wasn't it?" Pintel swelled with pride.

"This should be fun," laughed Ragetti. "I always did have a thing for Miss Elizabeth. Although I won't be able to see nuffink," the one-eyed pirate added in an afterthought.

"You can't see right anyways," Pintel reminded him, rolling his eyes. "Trust me, your ears will serve you well enough." Ragetti smiled toothily.

"That's because neither of them was hit by a cannon ball!" The pirates continued silently down the hall, not turning the corner until they heard the Turners' door click shut. "You don't think they'll be able ta hear us outside the door, do you?" Ragetti asked nervously. "'Cause I don't fancy what Will Turner would do to us if he found out we was listenin' in."

"They won't be able to hear us if we be quiet," Pintel reassured him. "Trust me. I've done this before."

"When?" Ragetti demanded, his expression accusing. "I never got ta go along!" Pintel sighed.

"You was asleep. Besides, it was during the time when you were feelin' religious. I knew you'd just turn me down."

"Aye, but you still should've asked me." Ragetti glared at his counterpart and they started to argue, forgetting to be quiet.

"Aha!" A third voice called out, startling both pirates. "I thought I might find you two gents here."

"Oh, Captain, it's just you." Pintel let out a sigh of relief. Jack didn't miss his covert look at the Turners' door.

"Off to do a little eavesdropping, ay?" Pintel and Ragetti grinned sheepishly.

"Aye," Pintel confessed. "You want ta join us?"

"I'm afraid I'll have to decline, mate," Jack said with obvious regret. "I promised Ana I'd bring you back right away. She doesn't want anyone disrupting her best friend."

"But, Cap'n, you wouldn't make us leave, would you?" Ragetti gave him a sad, disappointed look.

"_I_ wouldn't," said Jack. "But Ana said-"

"Oh why don't you just give her the _Pearl_ already, and make her captain." Pintel growled.

"No! I'm the captain," Jack protested.

"Not the way I see it," Pintel said stubbornly. "You give us orders, but you still take orders from her. So really it's Ana who is our captain."

"Now hold on right there," Jack cried. "I am the only one in charge on this fine vessel."

"Oh, are you?" Ragetti smirked. "Then prove it. Join us, Captain."

"Well, I don't know," began Jack, stroking his moustache. "It would be rather indecent. Will and Elizabeth are _such_ good friends and all. I would _hate_ to compromise our friendship. If only I had a good reason to commit said despicable act." Pintel thought hard.

"You need some new material ta tease Will with now that you can't call him a eunuch no more." That was more than enough reason for Jack.

"Gentlemen," Jack grinned roguishly at them. "Lead the way." They tiptoed down the hallway and each pirate pressed his right ear to the Turners' door. Then to Jack's horror, Ragetti sneezed and both he and Pintel rapidly shushed him. To Jack's utter amazement, no one came to the door. And that was when he began to hear sounds from within.

"Be careful, Will. Don't hurt yourself," Jack heard Elizabeth say, rather breathlessly. "Start slowly." Pintel and Ragetti exchanged a gleeful glance before focusing their energies on eavesdropping.

"This is exactly what I came back for," Will declared. Jack could just imagine the lustful look he was giving his wife.

"Oh, Will. Finally!" Elizabeth moaned. The bed squeaked as they rustled around in the covers.

"Here, let me help you with that." Will's voice shook with desire and Jack imagined that he was undressing her. Soft grunts emerged from both husband and wife. Sounds of sloppy kisses followed.

"Please, Will," she cried. "I can't do it without you." There was a loud shifting noise that Jack couldn't quite identify, followed by a loud moan from both Turners. Captain Sparrow couldn't believe it - it sounded like Will and Elizabeth were into kinkiness.

"Well, what do you think?" Will asked.

"It's...it's so big," Elizabeth said, hesitanting. "Will, I don't think it's going to fit."

"Let me try." They kissed again and it was awhile before Jack heard any sound at all. "Hold on, I've just got to get it centered," Will said, breaking the silence. There was a loud shifting noise, and Jack really didn't want to know what had caused it. "Where do you want it?" Will asked.

"A little to the left," Elizabeth instructed.

"How's that?"

"It's good," she sighed. "Ah! Right there, Will!"

Jack raised his eyebrows at Elizabeth's whimpering. He certainly hadn't expected them to be so vocal!

"Wait, stop." Elizabeth caused Will to growl in frustration.

"What?"

"We've got to move it over."

"Hold on, Elizabeth. Let me find a better position."

Jack was quite amazed. The pirate lord was down right envious of Will's stamina. If the lad could last this long after being away from Elizabeth for ten years, imagine how good his control would be on a regular night!

"How's this?" He asked seductively.

"It's getting closer to what I want," she panted.

"Not close enough for me," Will groaned. Jack heard Elizabeth's gasp of pleasure.

"Yes! Push it harder," Elizabeth insisted. "Please, Will."

Jack's eyes widened as he heard little wordless grunts and moans of pleasure. Much to his dismay, he still hadn't heard anything to tease Will about.

"Don't stop moving it, Will!" Elizabeth cried

"Are you ready?" He asked her.

Not yet," she whimpered. "Wait for me."

"I can't keep it up forever," Will gasped.

Jack frowned - it sounded like the voices were coming closer. But how could that be? They were in bed together, which was on the far side of the cabin.

"Now, Will," Came Elizabeth's wanton cry.

And at that very moment, the door gave out and Pintel, Ragetti, and Jack spilled into the Turners' bedroom. Elizabeth and Will must have forgotten to lock it! Pintel, Ragetti, and Jack found themselves lying face down on the floor inside the Turners' quarters. It was quite disorienting and terrifying all at once. Jack knew he was in deep trouble.

Jack immediately ordered the other two pirates to close their eyes, and they obeyed their captain without question. Jack closed his own eyes as well. Maybe if he was lucky, Will wouldn't be as angry at him for eavesdropping if Jack didn't actually see Elizabeth naked. He could only hope. Jack sat up, keeping his eyes firmly closed.

"Jack, you can open your eyes now," said a bewildered-sounding Will. Jack snorted and kept his eyes tightly shut.

"Very funny. You're not going to trick me into gazing upon you and Elizabeth naked in bed together, savvy?"

"We're not naked," Elizabeth insisted. "Open your eyes and you'll see." Jack did so reluctantly, and was absolutely floored by the scene in front of him. Fully clothed, Will and Elizabeth were sitting side by side on the bed, staring concernedly down at him. They were even still wearing their shoes. Jack just didn't understand how this could be. Hadn't he just heard them going at it?

"Is this a joke?" Jack asked, suspicious. Will shook his head gravely.

"Rearranging furniture is a very serious matter." Jack just now noticed the changes in the new furniture placement. Random pieces of furniture had been pulled away from the wall. A chair had been wedged in between a chest-of-drawers and a desk. Jack really didn't think the new arrangement was an improvement on the old, but he didn't tell them that.

"But…" Jack stammered. "I heard you. We all heard you both screaming and carrying on like there was no tomorrow." Pintel and Ragetti nodded vigorously in agreement. "And you're to tell me it was all because of the _furniture_?" Will and Elizabeth exchanged glances and turned back to Jack. Each was trying so hard not to laugh. Just then they all heard a voice calling for Jack.

"Jack? Are you down here?" Jack let out a squeak of fright. He stuck his head out the door and heard footsteps rapidly approaching.

"Oh no, it's AnaMaria! She's coming!" Jack gave Will and Elizabeth a desperate, pleading look. Will and glanced at Elizabeth and she nodded. Heaving a great sigh, Will pulled Jack back inside the room and closed the door. Honestly, the things he did for Jack. But at least now he would finally have some leverage to use against him when the time was right.

"That ought to do it," Will said loudly.

"Yes, thank you for all your help – we sure appreciate it," Elizabeth chimed in. They opened their door and ushered Pintel, Ragetti, and Jack out of their cabin just as AnaMaria was passing by the Turners' cabin.

"Jack, what were you doing disturbing them?" Ana asked, clearly exasperated. Jack held up his hands.

"Hey, I came straight down here to find Pintel and Ragetti, just like you asked me to," Jack said, defending himself to his life-partner. "When I got here, Will and Elizabeth put me to work as well and we just got done." Ana frowned at him.

"What sort of work?"

"We were rearranging the furniture." Jack gave her a wide innocent grin and Ana looked to Will and Elizabeth for confirmation, who both nodded as they hid their smiles.

"You've been gone such a long time - that cabin must look completely different," said Ana, looking mildly impressed. "Let me see how it all turned out."

"Oh, now love, you wouldn't want to be doing that," Jack laughed nervously. "I wouldn't want to inconvenience Will and Elizabeth any longer than necessary. They did want to be alone, after all."

"No, I certainly don't want to inconvenience them." Ana smiled at Elizabeth as she and Will disappeared into their room, closing the door behind them.

"You know, if I wasn't such a good pirate, I reckon I would have made a fortune in furniture sales…" Will and Elizabeth heard Jack's voice fade away and they were finally alone.

They couldn't contain their laughter in any longer. As tears of mirth poured down their cheeks, Will and Elizabeth fell into each other's arms.

"That was incredible," Will gasped as he clutched his stomach. It ached from laughing so hard. "You were brillant, Elizabeth." She grinned at him.

"You know what else would be incredible?" Will's demeanor changed instantly.

"I think I'm about to find out," he said, breathless with anticipation. Elizabeth led him over to the bed and pulled him down on top of her...

333

Minutes later

"I'm sorry I couldn't last longer, love," Will said as they basked in the afterglow. "I'm afraid that without immortality, my technique and control are lacking."

"It's alright," Elizabeth said, snuggling closer to his warm, naked form. It hadn't been as powerful or as pleasurable as their one day, but she had still enjoyed every second that she and Will had been joined together as one. "We both have room for improvement. All we need is some practice, and believe me I'm up for any sort of practice with you."

"That sounds good to me," Will chuckled, kissing her neck. "I'll rearrange the furniture with you whenever you wish."

The End

A/N: Tell me what you think! I really hope you didn't take it seriously, because it's not meant to be serious at all. Hopefully this gave you a few laughs. That was my goal, anyway. M-rated humor, you've got to love it.


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